What I would say if I was in charge of...
...naming hurricanes:
"Okay, if it goes Category 5, you're guaranteed 24 hours a day coverage on all the mainstream media networks. Front page of every newspaper for at least a week. And if it just happens to cause billions of dollars of damage to places where white people live, it'll be mentioned for years afterwards. So do we have a deal? Are we going to call this thing The Trump Hurricane or what?"
...apostrophes:
Its getting hot in here (so hot!)
...writing the press release for an actor who drunkenly ran over and killed some nobody:
"He's been under a lot of stress lately due to a lower-than-expected domestic gross on his latest film. And that led him to develop an addiction to painkillers. But he's asking for forgiveness now. Oh and he also found Jesus. Yeah, right behind the washing-machine actually. Been there the whole time."
...the charge:
"Chaaaaaaarge!"
"Okay, if it goes Category 5, you're guaranteed 24 hours a day coverage on all the mainstream media networks. Front page of every newspaper for at least a week. And if it just happens to cause billions of dollars of damage to places where white people live, it'll be mentioned for years afterwards. So do we have a deal? Are we going to call this thing The Trump Hurricane or what?"
...apostrophes:
Its getting hot in here (so hot!)
...writing the press release for an actor who drunkenly ran over and killed some nobody:
"He's been under a lot of stress lately due to a lower-than-expected domestic gross on his latest film. And that led him to develop an addiction to painkillers. But he's asking for forgiveness now. Oh and he also found Jesus. Yeah, right behind the washing-machine actually. Been there the whole time."
...the charge:
"Chaaaaaaarge!"
posted by Baco-Vegetarian at 11:49 AM
9 Comments:
Good idea, but not all that funny. Now, if somehow you'd worked in having two left hands and being in charge of having two normal hands, then we'd have a story! No wait--that doesn't work. What is this post about again?
Are you posting again already? But it's not even your birthday! Did you lose a bet or something?
What I would say if I was in charge of:
Comments:
I have two left hands, but luckily, I also have one right one. That extra hand has come in surprisingly handy.
Also, my new thing is to post all the time. But my New Years Resolution will be to do generally do less. So enjoy all these posts while you can!
You just wait. Come January you're going to be bored, lonely and posting like a madman. (And masturbating feverishly with that extra right hand.)
Call me!
Since I can already type with one hand, I could post, masturbate and call you, all at the same time!
Having an extra hand rules! I just wish it was more lady-like...
We could have a blogging-phone calling-masturbating showdown!
I don't have an extra hand, but I have toys. And cats.
(Too much?)
These cats....are they sexy?
u peopl are disgusting you have no moralls how dare u talk about soft sweet pussies this way
...hey, nobody asked if they were sweet...
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